Friday, 19 March 2010

Remember

I remember shopping trips,
Where all I wanted was a cake,
Packet of peanuts or something to make.
I remember linking arms through yours,
Silly boys calling us names we’d ignore.
I remember arms weighted with shopping bags,
Returning home to our dog with his stumpy tail wags.
Leisurely bath times, bubbles, gossip and more,
That always left Father banging on the door.
I remember you coming home with shoes for me,
Three pairs at once, you encouraged my shoe-addiction you see.
I remember my room, clothes strewn around,
You were talking to me, tidying while I lounged.

I remember the call, I was at work.
I remember the pain, I remember the hurt.
The hospital visits, cold and clinical.
I hated it there; it was not you at all.
I remember the changes to you,
Your hair, your tastes, your energy, your life,
The pain of my father of fear for his wife.
I’ll remember it even when I am old,
The way you are ill but are never cold.
I’ll remember the way your chest heaves
When you try to do the simplest thing, like breathe.
I’ll remember the way you’ve always loved me,
I’ll remember the way you give me strength to see
That it’s right to fight the hand we’re given in life,
Regardless of the effort, struggle or strife.

I’ll remember it most how I never want to be without you,
My mother, I am proud of everything you do.
You are strong, beautiful and true
I hope I can be just like you.




In Memory of Sharon Dickerson 1961 - 2010

Remembering Mum

I haven’t blogged for a while due to the passing of my much cherished mum on the 20th February 2010.

My mum bravely battled cancer from her first diagnosis of the disease in 2002. She fought off one form of cancer, endured operations, radiotherapy and years of chemotherapy. For a while we crossed fingers that Mum had successfully won the battle until the cancer returned in her lungs. Even with diminished physical strength my mum continued to work and show extreme strength of character, worrying how it would affect me.

Always having been close to my mum I have found this difficult to deal with but have been inspired by my mum’s strength.

1st October 2009 the doctors diagnosed Mum with only having a few months left to live. We promptly booked a family holiday for my mum, dad, husband, my son and I.

1st December 2009 the next diagnosis was for a few days but Mum again surpassed the diagnosis and we celebrated Christmas together. Mum continued with her strength and determination until the cancer took its toll on the 20th February.

My dad and I arranged Mum’s cremation and funeral together. There was an amazing turnout for her funeral on the 3rd March 2010, most of her friends from her workplace attended and contributed to a beautiful butterfly shaped floral arrangement, which at the time of writing this, is still alive and sitting on my garden table.

We donated the remaining flowers to the local Hospice, where Mum spent a brief spell.

I am so immensely proud of my mum, of what she achieved in her life, in how strong she was, her bravery, determination, consideration for others and in how much love she bestowed upon the people she cared for.

I love her, much more than any feeble words can ever say and I will carry her always within my heart but there will always be a mummy-shaped hole in my life.

The next post will be a poem that I wrote for my mum before we found out about her few months diagnosis.